By Carlie Desjardins
I wasn’t surprised when the personality test I took for my PR Portfolio class listed “people-pleasing” as one of my traits. But I was a bit shocked to see it under the “weaknesses” section.
Truthfully, I’ve always considered it one of my strengths — a superpower, even.
We’ve all seen that movie moment when a character snaps and delivers the dramatic line, “This was never my dream – it was always yours!” It’s the breaking point of someone who has spent too much time pleasing others. The benefit of people-pleasing is that it paints you as easygoing and accommodating, though when done with little control and few boundaries, it quickly leads to being a “yes man.” The result? Your needs are neglected, and you are now at risk of burnout or damaging relationships. Just as importantly, the people you’re trying to please don’t receive important feedback that may be critical but necessary.
As I tried to justify why people-pleasing obviously isn’t a weakness of mine (because, who wouldn’t want to make everyone happy?), a lightbulb went off. Isn’t PR pretty similar to this? We’re always trying to meet the needs of different audiences, clients, and stakeholders. But just like with people-pleasing, we risk losing our message and compromising authenticity if overdone.
Why People-Pleasing Can Be A PR Superpower
As a self-proclaimed ‘comedian,’ I’ve learned the secret to landing a good joke is knowing your audience. Telling my 60-year-old parents the same jokes I tell my co-workers wouldn’t make sense – one joke may fill a room with laughter, and that same joke may end up in a dreaded awkward silence. Regardless, it’s extremely similar to the way PR messages are catered to fit the needs, interests, and expectations of different audiences.
My people-pleasing trait has allowed me to understand and anticipate the needs of those around me. But just like in telling jokes, a successful PR campaign might work for one demographic, but completely miss for another. It’s crucial to understand the need for and how to tailor to different audiences in PR.
Balanced people-pleasers excel at building trusting relationships because they actively listen and adapt. As an out-of-state college student, I travel home at least once a month to work at Target and the short conversations I have with our regular guests are the reason I’ve been able to keep a relationship with them over the years. Efforts like this make people feel valued, respected, and appreciated – the same vital assets needed to maintain long-term partnerships with clients. Using your audience’s language, aligning with their values, and customizing your campaigns can build trust and foster deeper connections with the intended demographic. The ability to adjust while staying true to the brand is what transforms people-pleasing into a PR superpower.
People-Pleasing with Purpose
The biggest problem with people-pleasing is that it’s impossible to satisfy everyone. A PR campaign that focuses on appealing to too many different groups results in it being forgettable and not pleasing anyone at all. There’s nothing wrong with trying to reach a broad audience, but if it’s not done strategically, you run the risk of diluting your message and compromising brand values. A muddled message can damage the trust you’ve built with your audience, and that can jeopardize the effectiveness of any future campaigns.
Prioritize, Don’t Generalize
During my first internship, I was under the impression that the question, “Hey, do you have time to help with this?” was rhetorical – especially for an intern. It led to me saying yes to every task and working outside of regular hours. Over time, I learned that it’s possible to be helpful without overextending myself. I started communicating more effectively by learning when to say no, when necessary, but still offering alternative solutions or explaining why certain tasks couldn’t be prioritized. Keeping this trait will allow me to guide clients on the right path especially when prompted with a request that doesn’t necessarily align with the brand.
It took time to understand that not all tasks carry the same weight. The same applies to PR audience members or stakeholders we are trying to reach. Determining which voices are the most important and prioritizing their needs can truly make or break a campaign. The goal is not to say yes to everyone but rather to be strategic and intentional with your work. Strategically crafting your messages based on your determination of which audience deserves the most attention, paired with purposeful people-pleasing allows you to maintain the authenticity that people-pleasers often struggle with.
At the end of the day, people-pleasing is about understanding and anticipating the needs of individuals – qualities that are extremely valuable in PR when done with intention. It allows practitioners to build relationships, tailor messages to resonate with target audiences, and build trust. However, the key is balance: knowing what to prioritize, when to say no, and maintaining authenticity. By pleasing the right people for the right reasons, you can transform this “weakness” into a superpower.
Rising Stars is a series of thoughts, reflections and perspectives by the interns at Devine + Partners. Carlie Desjardins is a senior majoring in public relations at Temple University.
Devine + Partners is a Philadelphia public relations agency. We offer a full range of communications services – from message and content development and media relations to issues management and employee and community engagement.
